Update from my life

hey everywon this is John Simmons: i know its ben a long time since my last post but ive had a lot going on in my life: hears whats going on resently:



thanksgiving is near and i wanted to start cooking sum of the food for the feast we have in my trayler: well this year i had kevin next door put the turkey together and start cooking it in the turkey pit "it has to cook slow for a week": part of the secret recipe is to fill the turkey with tapeeyoka pudding and crackd pepper: kevin was in a hurry and forgot to put these igredients in the turkey: i got mad and cussd him out: he started crying and road his bike home: i was so stressd out i had to go out on my motorcycle for a smoke:



wen i was out i came across this semi on its side: i imedeeatly calld my frend dug and sed [i need back up]: dug has a medical bag and a van:



wen i lookd in the truck it was empty: i new the driver eether had amnezha and got lost or there was fowl play: i thaut it was probly fowl play: i thaut he mite be in the woods so i went in:



i lookd for hours and found foot prints: dug finely came after it got dark and i herd him on his vans megafone saying [i am hear John: wear is the victim]: i did not want to create noiz by yelling back so i shot flares up so dug wood see wear i was and follow:


we trackd all nite and snow fell: in the morning we herd rusling: i wisperd to dug [get down: theres sumthing hear]: then we saw the yeti: i had herd the yetis calls from my trayler before but hadnt seen him: now we had him in site and i sed to dug [he has alredy killed the truck driver: i see blood on his fur: we have to kill him]: everything was dry around the snow so i new with a hot flame it wood all burn: i thru a rock to distract the yeti and then shot my flamethrower:


the yeti started to burn and screemd:


me and dug got out of the woods and then we herd somwon yelling [help: help]: we turned around and saw the truck driver: the truck driver sed [ i am the truck driver: i got attackd and the yeti scratchd my back to make me bleed and was coming back to eat me wen you killed him: you saved my life how can i repay you]: we sed we wood think about it and took him back to get another truck: dug took this pic of the truck driver in front of the new truck:


well me and dug had the driver take us to sonic: we talkd about a lot of stuff and the truck driver is now are frend: his name is colton: i invited colton to thanksgiving dinner at my trayler: i askd him if he cood make it: he sed [i mite:]:




i got home and invited sum women over and we are working on the meel that kevin messd up: kevin came over to apologize and i sed [ok but dont waste my time agen]: so everything is good now and we are getting reddy for the holiday:

hope you are doing good:

John Simmons

Desember update

Hey everyon this is John Simmons: well its desember and its ben a long year and lots has ben going on: i wanted to let you no what has ben happening in my life lately:


so i got my christmas tree up last weak and i got into bed to watch spede channel and talk to women on webcam: well i herd a shaking sound in the other room "like ratling" and so i grabbed my sord and yelld [whos there]: i herd the shaking agen so i jumpd into the room and flickd the lites on: well it was the tree and i circled it and sed [get out or prepare to die]: then i saw the eyes of my cat and sed [kevin get out of the tree]: kevin just sat there and i took this pic: then i pickd him up and told him [you cant mess up the tree becaus the women like it]: kevin has not gotten in the tree sense:


the other nite i was in won of the chatrooms i adminaster and we were all talking on our mics: i started talking about how illinoy is cold rite now becaus it is winter: then a woman got on with a deep gravely voice "like a demen" and sed [the time has come to blede and die]: i new this mite be a demen and sed [who is this]: she sed [call me vulkar]: i sed [post yore pic]: my screne started to flickr and then this pic appeard: i qwikly saved it and printed it and then i burnd the pic with garlic: she has not ben back into chat sense then: everywon in the room thankd me and sed they were glad im on chat:


Me and my frend dug resently got a backyard wrestling leeg going in my nayborhood: rite now we have 25 wreslers sined up and we have been getting good crowds at the matches: we have hot women who dance betwene the matches: this is a match that took place the other day: it shows the wreslers strong steve and dethstalker: in this pic strong steve is slamming dethstalker into the tabel: i was the refaree for this match and dug took pics: sum local stayshens have ben calling me about putting it on tv: im thinking by the begining of 2014 we will have a wrestling show on tv: i am going to call it [wrestle nite with John] and we will also put dvds and shirts out:


me and my frends like to do karayokee:  it has ben very cold out "its winter in illinoy" so i desided to try something diferent: i have had a lot of junk piled up in my backyard and desided we could burn it to keep warm and sing in front of the fire and that it would look good: this is a pic of me doing a song by acdc calld [hiway to hell]: it is won of my favorit songs and im glad i sang it becaus the fire in the backround makes it look like im in hell: dug even got a video of this so wen i go to the bars i have them put it on the tv and everywon gets up and dances:



this is a pic of sum of the women who were dancing to my video of [hiway to hell] by acdc: after it was over they came up to me and askd for autografs and wanted to no what i was doing for the rest of the night: i sed that three could come back to my place but thats all i have room for rite now becaus i am remodling:


i resently put a roket launcher on a motorcycle of mine for extra proteckshun: i have taken it out to drive a couple of times and hit sum trees with rockets and they have exploded: the other nite my frend dave told me that he had a trayler that he didnt want anymore and sed that everywon wanted me to blow it up with the rocket launcher on my motorcyle: i calld dug and sed [get your camera becaus i am going to destroy this trayler and we will want to take the pics and the videos to the bars and put them online]: dug sed [that sounds good John]: dug got this pic of me on my way wen i fired a rocket at a sign on the side of the rode:


dug got this pic of people as i rolled into the trayler park: i herd sumwon yell [hell on wheels]: i yelld back [hell yeah]:


so i circled thru the trayler park and then got on my mic and sed [everywon stay back: im going to blast this trayler to hell]: i then sed [can i get a hell yeah]: everywon yelld [hell yeah]: this is the trayler right after the rocket went thru the window: after we all watchd it burn sumwon sed [you should be a poleese officer: you make me feel safe]: i herd lots of people say [yes i agree]:  also i had lots of women ask me to sine autografs and get a pic with me:

well this is what has ben happening with me: i hope its good for you and i will talk to you soon:

John Simmons