My weak

Hey everywon this is John Simmons:  i wanted to let you no wat has ben going on lately in my life:  its ben kwite a weak for me and i hope you had a good one to:

 so the other day i went bowling with sum frends befor i went out partying for the nite and i herd sumwon yell [can you take are picture]:  i lookd over and saw sum older people and they were waiving:  i sed [yes]:  i took this pic and they gave me a copy to remember the day:  wen i went bak to my bowling lane i kept bowling strikes and i herd sumwon say [i can do better:  you suk]:  i turnd around and sed [i will beet you anytime]:  he came down and sed [alrite]:  so we bowled and i beet him by 100 points:  he sed [i will win in a fite]:  i sed [lets step out bak]:

 

we stepd out bak and he tryd to hit me and i punchd him down:  he dropd to his nees and let out a cry:  just wen i was abowt reddy to finish him off he pulld out a nife and stabbd me in the leg "i got this pic for evidense after he stood up":  i was having troubel moving and he was about to stab me agen:  then i blew the wissel around my neck for assistense:

i started to hear hissing and then i lookd over to see won of pet possums:  he had oviusly ben in a tree and herd my wissel then came down to help:  the guy sed [i will kill it]:  i sed [yore time is up]:  the possum hissd won more time and then ran and jumpd onto the mans face:  the man was screeming and trying to stab the possum but he missd and got himself in the sholder:  he sed [stop it: stop it: it will kill me:]:  he kept crying and then fell to his nees:  i didnt want my possum to kill him so i clappd my hands and sed [ok]:  the possum jumpd off and went back into the tree:  the man was on the grownd crying:  i had bandajd my leg with my shirt by this time and cood get up to grab him:  i sed [let me get a pic of you you pease of trash]:

 

i grabd him and he kept saying [no more: no more: im sorry]:  i laffd and sed [smile for my pic]:  i took the pic and kickd him in the gut and he fell:  i sed [if you ever mess with me agen you wont be breething anymore]:  i took his nife and flipd him off and left: 

 after that i went and got a new tat of my new rotwiler larry "i have 3 rotwilers now":  i think the tat came out good and i no the women will like it:

 

wen i got home to get reddy for the nite out i herd scratching in the cubberd:  i new it cood be won of the trayler park demens making noises agen:  i sed [i will not tolarate evil in my trayler:  you will get out or i will kill yore body and drive your sole away]:  the scratching continued and i new that i had to take actchin:  i started pounding the counter and sumthing finely came out from the cubberd "i took this pic just as it climed out":  i no that demens can take all forms and this won was disgised as a rat:  i ran after it but it jumpd into the cubberd before i cood kill it:  i started serching but cood not find it:  there was only won thing left to do:

 

i kwikly lit a fire and sed [yore time is over]:  i grabd sum garlic and thru it all arownd the kitchen:  i sat in my living room and watchd the kitchen burn:  i herd demonic screming as the evil creachur burnd:  i calld dug on my cell and sed [i nede yore help to put out a fire:  i just killd a demen]:  he kwikly ran over and helpd me put it out:  we did sum chants to rid the trayler of the demen and then desided it was time to hed out for the nite:

so we went out to a coupel of bars and met these women:  the won in the middel was winking at me and licking her lips:  i swung my hare back and lookd her in the eye:  she came walking over and sed [you look familyer to me:  have you ben in movies]:  i shruggd my sholders and sed [i do sum acting wen i feel like it:  you mite also have seen my band befor]:  she smiled and sed [me and my frends want to party with you]:  i sed [ok]:  i took them back to my place and we all got into the hot tub: 

well thats about all for now:  hope your doing good:  ill talk to you soon:

John Simmons

Update on my life

hey everywon this is John Simmons:  i no its ben a long time but a lots ben going on in my life:  anyway this is what has ben hapening lately:

so about 2 weaks ago i was feeling tired and it went on for many days:  i talkd to my frend daren and he sed {John you nede to visit a frend of mine:  his name is richard and he can help you get to feeling beter and be yoreself agen:}  i found out that richard lives a couple of traylers down but i never see him becaus he is always medatating:  i went to see richard and took this pic as i walkd in:  he sed {i can alredy see that yore sole is tired: you need rejuvinashen}:  he told me to hang out with his frend for the weakend and gave me his number:

the next nite i met up with zackary at a bar "this pic was shot wen he walkd in" and we drank and talkd about all the women we have had:  zackary then sed {John do you want to race:}  i sed {yes}:

my frend dug took this pic of me and zackary racing:  zackary started talking trash and sed {i will run you off the rode and beet you that way}:  he then started swerving at me and tryd to nock me off the rode:  i dodjed him and yelled {its time to die}:  i sped up and then did a slide in front of him and tripd his bike:  he went off the bike and into sum bushes:  then his motorcycle hit a wall and blew up:

zackary was alive "i had pland to only hurt him and teech him a leson":  i went over to where he was on the ground:  he was moning and saying he broke his leg:  i lookd down at him and sed {you make me sick}:  then i left:

i went to another bar and started talking to sum women:  i was at the bar and then i herd sumwon say {i no who you are you are John Simmons}:  i sed {yes}:  she sed {ive herd a lot about you and ive seen you riding your motorcycle around:  all the women i no want to be with you}:  we went back to my plase and went to bed "i got this pic wen we were talking about the stunts shes seen me do on my motorcycle":

at about 2 in the morning i got a call and it was my frend rick:  he sed {John im in sum troubel:  i got arested for spitting off the roof of the bar on sum peopel:  sum of my spit had blood in it:  i cant make bale can you bale me out and ill repay you}:  i sed {alrite}:  me and dug went down to the jale and baled him out:  dug got this pic wen rick was sitting behind the glass:

the next day i woke up and herd wining:  i lookd around but didnt see anywon:  then i lookd out the window and saw a small weerd man who was orenj:  i took this pic and then pulled out my nife:  i kickd open the window and ran after him:  he disapeard into won of the traylers and i havent seen him sense:

last nite i was asleep in bed and i herd sumwon brake open a window and sumwon saying {qwik take it we dont have much time}:  i got out of bed and crept toward the room they were in:  wen i got into the gest bedroom i saw that the invaders had just left:  they had taken won of my favorit peeces "it is the statchu in the pic above":  i had ben given it in wen i was a boy and visitors to my plase had always sed that it shood be in a museum:  i no it is won of a kind :  i ran outside and saw that they threw the statchu agenst a tree and broke it:  i dropd to my nees and yelld loud in a deep voice like a demon: 

i new that richard and zackary had destroyd my statchu so i desided to take revenj:  i ran to richards trayler and started banging the sides with my fist and then i punchd his windows out:  richard started yelling {im sorry John:  im sorry dont hurt us}:  then i herd them run out the other side:  i didnt bother trying to catch them:  i got into richards car and hotwired it: then i backd up and drove full spede into his trayler "i jumpd and rolld at the last second":  the trayler and the car blew up and i walkd away:

well thats wat has ben going on in my life:  i hope your doing good: ill talk to you soon:

John Simmons